The Mourner

Down here, it is generally assumed that they gained their rank among the damned by committing infanticide. Such an act could seem strange and unnecessary, given the number of brats who die without the need of a helping hand to push them into the afterlife; however one might be forgetting that the visible symptoms of a life of lust can sometimes require the most brutal of remedies to avoid public shame. There we have it! A past life of carnal sin would explain why these damned ones arrive here with such charming features, for they undoubtedly betray the cause of their disgrace. However, I must say that I only half believe that theory, if only because of the great number of weepers I have spotted randomly fishing unbaptized newborns out of Limbo. That is the point that gives credibility to their position as representatives of eternal sorrow. If child-murder had been their sin, then they would have been naturally fitted with the appropriate accessory upon joining our companies, instead of having to rummage through the Abyss for one.